Girls are Confusing
by anonymousperson101
Summary: Harry is baffled by Hermione's - and, even worse - Ron's behavior. You just can't figure them out.
1. Chapter 1

"Honestly Ron! How much greater of a prat can you be?"

Hermione's anguished shriek was heard by Harry, who was sitting in his dormitory, attempting to finish a History of Magic essay. Although he had previously been amused by his friend's flirtatious loathing for one another, it was becoming tiresome.

Rolling his eyes, Harry heaved himself off of the floor, dropped his quill onto the book at his feet, and started towards the door.

On his way down the stairs, he could hear Ron's muffled retort, and wondered what the fight was about this time. Usually Ron brought up "Vicky", which roused Hermione, or Hermione mentioned Lavender Brown, whom Ron had only recently broken up with.

When Harry pushed open the door to the common room, it creaked loudly, as if to let the entire room know that he was entering. Cursing inwardly, Harry knew that there was no point in hiding at the bottom of the stairs. He walked in, bracing himself for what was to come, but the sight that met him was one of the most unexpected that he had ever hoped to see.

It was not apparent at first what had happened, as Harry only saw one person, but, after a moment of gazing forward, a shock wave erupted inside of him, making his head tingle.

Standing in front of him, locked in a tight embrace with each other, was Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasly. Ron was squeezing Hermione very tightly, and Hermione's fingers were running through Ron's hair. Every few moment's they would break apart for a nano second, and take a deep breath before their lips met again.

As Harry watched, to stunned to move, Hermione lost her balance and stumbled into Ron, who took several steps backward before falling onto the chair behind him. Neither of them, however, made any attempt to right themselves, only, if it was possible, used it as an opportunity to deepen their kiss.

Once Harry was able to settle his rippling thoughts enough to process what was going on, it came to him that this kiss was very passionate. Too passionate, it seemed, for a couple that had never kissed before. They were snogging, to an extreme. They had hated each other moments before!

But had they? Harry realized that this was probably not the first time they had kissed. However revolting the thought might be, Harry knew, without a doubt, that it was true. Sighing, he realized that he should have known months before, when Ron had become especially obedient when Hermione was concerned, or when Hermione let Ron copy out of her notes again.

Now, however, there was the issue of whether or not to interrupt them. Although Harry did not want to spoil anything, he felt as though it was his moral duty. Just as Harry made a move towards the thrashing couple in the chair, Hermione gently broke their lips apart. Ron looked startled, but Hermione's face held only joy.

"I am deeply, and thoroughly in love with you, Ron. I have wanted to kiss you since the second year. I adore you, my Ronald."

At this, Hermione smiled blissfully at Ron, and Ron's face glowed with pleasure.

"Hermione, I swear my undying love for you. No matter what I have ever said or done, my love for you is total. You bring me happiness, and fulfillment. I love you, 'Mione mine."

At this point, Harry felt it would be inappropriate to intervene, and he turned slowly around to go back upstairs. He had not taken two steps, however, when he heard Hermione's voice from behind him.

"Harry!" her voice was unusually shrill.

Harry turned, and saw that Ron was looking up at him with something very like fear etched onto his face. Hermione's face, however, still looked immaculately happy, as though a beam of pure, golden light had struck it. Her bushy hair was mussed from Ron's hands playing with it obsessively, and her uniform shirt had become un-tucked from her skirt, which was slightly askew. Harry wondered darkly to himself whether or not this was an accident. Harry was about to speak, which the second most unexpected thing happened. Hermione's eyes brightened suddenly, and she pulled Ron forcefully into a standing position, put her hands around his neck, took a fleeting sideways glance at Harry, and kissed Ron forcefully and passionately on the lips, running her finers through his auburn locks once more. Ron, who looked nearly as surprised as Harry, welcomed it, and responded with lips as eager as hers. He picked her up, and carried over to a couch, where he set her down in his lap, and clutched her tightly in a loving embrace.

Harry sighed, and realized that he was going to accomplish nothing while they were in this mood. He turned and, without another word to either of his friends, walked back up to his dormitory.

X*X*X*X

About an hour later, Harry had still written nothing on the parchment which was supposed to have his History of Magic report on it. When Ron trumped up the stairs noisily, Harry quickly turned back to his book and pretended not to hear him. If Ron wanted to tell Harry what was going on, then he would have to confide in Harry on his own.

Ron stumbled through the dormitory door, nearly tripping over the bedpost. When he had reached his bed, the one next to Harry's, he fell onto it with a sigh that was entirely happy.

Harry looked up from the carpeted floor of the dormitory to study his best friends face. It was almost luminescent – it was an identical to the look Hermione's face when she had seen Harry in the common room.

Several minutes passed before Ron spoke.

"Wow, mate."

Harry barely managed to contain a snort of laughter.

"So, I see you and Hermione are together."

Harry's tone was coated in sarcasm, but Ron seemed to be in another world altogether, and did not notice.

"Yeah, I, I suppose we are."

Harry wondered how fascinating and pleasing the ceiling over Ron's bed could be to make Ron beam and stare at it so continuously; but Harry did not comment.

"So, did you ask her out?"

"No, I didn't. Should I have?"

Finally, Ron sat up, with a worried look suddenly plastered on his face. He seemed to be waiting for an answer.

"No, you're friends. You see each other all the time. You can ask her later."

This pacified Ron, who fell back onto his bed again.

**X***X*X*X

At half-past-eleven, Dean and Seamus came into the dorm, both looking exhausted, but not displeased. They put on their nightclothes, and pulled back their sheets. This was when Seamus noticed Ron, who had not moved from his bed.

"Ron, you OK, mate? Anything wrong?"

It was Harry who answered for him.

"No, Seamus, he's just been snogging Hermione, that's all."

Dean snickered, and Seamus grinned.

"Finally! How was it?"

Ron looked up, bewildered.

"How was it? Unbelievable, is what it was!"

Harry erupted into laughter. He fell onto his stomach, beating the rug with his fists. Dean and Seamus followed suit.

Ron looked thoroughly confused, but did not seem to want to know what they were laughing at. Instead, with a dazed grin at his friends, who were crying with pleasure at the foot of his bed, he pulled his bed hangings shut, and Harry could hear Ron's peaceful snores only minutes later.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione teetered into her dorm, stunned and full of unimaginable happiness.

Although she and Ron had shared chaste pecks at each others cheeks before, this had been the first _real _kiss. She dropped onto her bed, her mind reeling with joy and shock. Her school bag thumped to the floor.

Parvati, who was sitting on Lavender's bed discussing her kiss with Seamus, looked up at Hermione. She immediately noticed something odd about Hermione's manner; maybe it was the fact that she was not poring over a 27 pound book for once, or maybe it was the luminous glow emitting from her face. Either way, something was ammis, and it caught Parvati's attetion.

Parvati tapped Lavender's shoulder, and pointed surreptitiously at Hermione. Lavender caught on, and both girls turned to observe her, waiting for her to speak. When she did not utter a word, Lavender prompted her.

"Hello Hermione."

Silence.

"What have you been doing?"

Could Parvati have been any more obvious? Hermione thought to herself in annoyance.

Fine. Let them know.

She sat up, pushed her bushy brown hair back from her unusually radiant face, and smiled coyly at them.

"Oh, nothing much, really. I've just been kissing Ronald, down in the common room. We're together." Perhaps this was a little too much. Well, too late now. "Oh, didn't you know?"

She added this last part because of the shocked, almost frightened expressions on her roommates faces. Hermione's smile broadened; she took enormous pleasure in their surprise.

Parvati was the first to recover herself.

"W-Well, how did it go?"

Hermione laughed blithely.

"Oh, it very well. Very well indeed."

Her wicked voice hit Parvati and Lavender like a slap to the cheek.

Lavender realized it first. She was _mocking _them. She was being sassy. This was so uncharacteristic of Hermione that Lavender felt her jaw drop, but made no move to right herself. She exchanged a look with Parvati that told Lavender that Parvati was annoyed too.

Parvati stood. Her brown eyes were wide with frustration.

"But what happened? Between you two? You've hated each other for months!" She exclaimed, brow furrowing.

"Well, I suppose we fell in love, didn't we? Lavender, how did it go with Seamus?"

This was such an odd change of subject that for a moment Lavender did not know how to answer. Hermione had never, in the entire 6 years that Lavender had known her, wanted to hear about boys.

Forcing a weak smile, Lavender decided to comply. First however, she patted the bed next to her, indicating that Hermione should be seated. Hermione grinned, and, crawling over her bed, settled herself on Lavender's.

Lavender hugged her knees tightly to her chest.

"Well, erm, you know that we went to Hogsmeade." She looked up at Hermione, only to see that she was listening intently already. This pacified Lavender, and her shoulders relaxed noticeably.

"So, first we went into the Three Broomsticks and got a butterbeer, and then we went into Madam Puddifoots. Seamus sat down opposite me and he ordered two white hot-chocolates with whipped cream." Lavender had gotten into her stride now, and was talking with ease. "I had a sip of mine, and he started to laugh. When I asked him what was wrong, he said 'Well, I don't think that a mustache is a good look for you, Lav. And, sure enough, The whipped cream had given me a great white mustache; he and I both laughed. But, suddenly, he stopped laughing and he leaned over, and he kissed me!" Lavender's face was flushed with excitement, pleasure, and ( is it possible?) embarrassment. "It was a real kiss too! And, after a little bit, I, well, just sort of, erm, stuck my tongue in."

At this point, Hermione looked revolted and put her hands up in a gesture of disgust. Lavender was slightly put out, and more than a little annoyed.

"Hey, don't act like you and Ron were being chaste!"

Hermione flared up at once.

"Ron and I don't talk about it as though it is something to be proud of!"

At this, Hermione blushed furiously, realizing that her wording had been all wrong.

Lavender grinned maliciously.

"Oh, isn't it?"

It was Parvati that spoke next.

"Hermione, there is nothing to be ashamed of in a real kiss! Don't get hissy with us!"

But Hermione had already left the dormitory; her old annoyance with her ridiculous roommates had returned. Why had she even bothered to listen to that stupid Lavender's love story?

Although she hadn't planned it, Hermione knew exactly where she was going.

She turned into the 5th year dormitories, and knocked on the 4th door down to the left. She heard the sound of footsteps on the other side, and one "Shhh!". When the door finally swung open, there stood Ginny, smiling and messy-haired.

Hermione gulped.

"Can I come in?"


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione and Ronald

Part the Third

Ron had been tugging nervously at the collar of his robes all morning. When it was finally time to go down for breakfast, Harry practically had to carry him down the stairs to the Great Hall.

"Harry, what if she doesn't remember?"

Harry rolled his eyes.

"Oh yes, Ron. Lavender's just told me that Hermione suddenly got a case of amnesia, and she has no idea who you are."

Ron's eyes widened in fright.

Harry laughed aloud.

"You, you great stupid prat!" Harry gasped, in between gales of laughter. "Ron, you've got to relax, mate."

Ron looked angrily at Harry, and muttered things to himself quietly until they reached the entrance to the Great Hall. Harry thought he heard the words "Hermione", "amnesia", and, "not funny."

X*X*X*X

Hermione pulled her bushy hair back into a tight bun for the first time that morning. It proved to be a difficult task, as her hair kept popping out of the elastics that she tied it with. To soften her face, she let a few thin, wispy strands hang loose around her forehead an ears. When she was satisfied, she stopped for a minute or two to gaze thoughtfully at herself in the mirror, which was in the girls' bathroom.

That was where Parvati found her.

"Hermione, it's time to go down to breakfast. I bet Ron is waiting for you."

Hermione shot an angry glance at the other girl and stalked out of the bathroom. Parvati waited for her.

"So, what are you going to say?" She prompted. Hermione was disgruntled. She had not given any thought to the matter.

"I don't know. Maybe, 'Good Morning'?". Although the remark was meant to be sarcastic, Parvati did not catch it.

"Alright, but are you going to kiss him good morning?"

Hermione stopped dead in her tracks; the idea of kissing Ron in front of the entire school had not even made it's way into her thoughts. At least not the ones that she bothered to consider.

Forcing her voice to be controlled, Hermione said, " I don't know. Maybe."

Parvati snatched up the opportunity.

"Alright then, Hermione. Kiss him. I dare you."

Although Hermione never took dares, especially not ones that came from somebody as silly as Parvati, she was, for some odd reason, tempted this time. It was uncharacteristic of Hermione to leap before she looked, which is why Parvati was surprised when she responded, "OK, Parvati. I'll kiss him."

What am I saying? thought Hermione, panicking. I can't kiss him!

But Parvati was beaming at her, and Hermione knew, she just knew, that Parvati was about to go and tell every girl in Gryffindor about it. This prediction was proven to be correct when Parvati, moments later, broke out into a run and dashed down several more flights of stairs, bypassing several boys, and stopped next to Lavender Brown. She whispered something in her ear that made Lavender giggle.

Hermione sighed wearily.

X*X*X*X

Ron kept craning his neck to see the entrance to the Great Hall, which annoyed Harry greatly, and Ron kept leaning in front of Ginny, with whom Harry was attempting to have a polite conversation.

"Ron! She'll come soon, Ok? I promise! Just eat!"

Ron shot one last anxious look towards the doors before inhaling his porridge, toast, and nectarine with alarming haste.

Moments later, Ron pushed back the bench upon which he, Harry, Ginny, and Dean Thomas were seated (causing them all to spill one thing or another) and turned to leave.

Just as he spun around, he collided with Hermione, who had been approaching him from behind. For a moment Ron simply stared, dazed, at Hermione, much to Harry's, Parvati's, and Lavender's amusement.

Several awkward seconds passed before Hermione spoke, her voice resolutely clear and calm.

"Good Morning, Ron."

X*X*X*X

Although Hermione was sure that Ron could hear her heartbeat, which was as loud as a drum, she refused to be flustered.

When Ron did not say anything, she almost felt annoyed.

You great idiot, say something! She felt like shaking him and yelling.

Instead, she took a step forward, grabbed the front of his robes, and pressed her lips firmly against his. For a moment, everybody was silent, except the teachers, who seemed quite determinedly oblivious to the entire situation.

When Ron pulled back, Hermione was afraid that she had spoiled everything, but his eyes were brimming with a mixture of relief and amusement. He cupped his hands around her cheeks, and kissed her happily.

She giggled, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

At that moment, he picked her up, and carried her out of the Hall by her waist, as though she were a sack of potatoes. She began squealing in protest, but he only held her tighter. When they had both gone, a ringing silence broke out before Ginny let out an audible snicker. Harry joined in, and soon everyone was chortling.

Ron had carried Hermione outside, into the deserted courtyard. He set her down on a stone bench, and seated himself next to her. She looked up at him questioningly.

"Well, I wanted to snog you in private, that's all!"

Hermione laughed, and allowed Ron to kiss her silly.

X*X*X*X

Ok, end of this chapter.

Like it? Love it? Hate it!

Please comment – 'tis my first chaptered story and I am a little nervous.

comments are appreciated, but I know how it feels to like a story but not want to bother too click the right button and type out your opinion. LOL.


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